when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
