Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
