Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
