i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
