my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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