she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
