he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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