his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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