I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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