she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
