you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
