Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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