Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize