Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
