It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
