i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
