but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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