you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
