Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
dude. I can hear the air.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
