my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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