what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
smell my finger.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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