At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Your penis caused this!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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