The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
