Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
