Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
