I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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