think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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