I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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