so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
