OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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