I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i think i just lost a toe
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
