I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
