Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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