They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
