is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
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