I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
