wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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