:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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