her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
only if we run a train.
done.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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