C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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