i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
