Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
