I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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