either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i think i just lost a toe
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
