There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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