I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
no, he came in my armpit
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
