I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
