i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
