How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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