Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
