I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
