I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
