Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
