Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
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