you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
