he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
