Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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