You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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