Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
