My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
