not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
