Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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